Friday, November 2, 2007

One Great Dog!

Rachel Lucas » Blog Archive » Do I need to take Sunny to West Virginia?
I blog about Sunny too much, don’t I? You can handle it. If you recall from The Great Pit Bull Incident, Sunny is one hell of a fierce bitch. She showed her mettle again this past Tuesday as we were walking the dangerous streets of our dangerous loose-dog-filled neighborhood.

There we were, traipsing along innocently, me, Sunny, and Digger. We rounded a corner and up ahead I saw a couple of kids in the middle of the street, playing on their bikes. Then I saw their dog, who then saw me and my dogs, and it was ON.

He was 50 yards away at least, but the moment that dog saw us, he started charging our way at top speed. Which told me we had a Situation on our hands, because you do not sprint aggressively towards Sunny. She will bite a hole through your face.

As soon as I saw the other dog running towards us with intense menacing purpose (he was very obviously NOT coming to play or sniff), I stopped our forward movement and attempted to verbally soothe my beasts. YEAH RIGHT. Who was I trying to kid? You can talk all you want about having “control” over your dogs but I’m not Cesar Fuckin’ Milan, okay? My dogs see a strange dog bolting towards them top speed and barking aggressively, they don’t give one tiny little SHIT what the human thinks about it. They are going to fuck that dog up. And do you know what? I don’t blame them. For all I know, that dog wants to feast on my organs.

Anyway. Both of my dogs were pulling on their leashes with great intensity as the strange dog charged us. I had about 5 seconds to decide whether to let go of the leashes or not. If I let go, I open myself up to liability if anything bad happens to the other dog or the kids (who were chasing their dog by this point). If I don’t, I’ve got 170 pounds of canine fury tethered to my left hand in the middle of a 3-way dog battle. Jesus Christ.

I didn’t let go. I couldn’t turn and try to run, either, as that’s just about THE stupidest thing to do when a dog is after you. Not to mention the fact that there’s no miracle under the sun that could have persuaded my dogs to retreat with me. So I held the leashes and we stood our ground, and do you remember the Battle of Pelennor Fields from the LOTR-Return of the King movie? The part where the Riders of Rohan (and yeah, I still want Eomer’s babies) charge toward the Orc army and when they reach them THEY DO NOT EVEN SLOW DOWN? They just fuckin’ HIT.

That’s what it was like on Tuesday evening. The strange dog (which by now I could see was a 100+ pound short-haired Lab of some sort who was several inches taller than Sunny and way, way, way, way more muscular) crashed full-speed into Sunny, who was so very, very ready for it. She caught him right in the throat with her open jaws. He yelped, she let go, but he did not even think about backing down. Digger, elderly though he may be, was pretty fucking pissed off, too, and he tried getting in on the action, which immediately got him knocked down, hard.

Which is when I got absolutely bloodthirstily ENRAGED. There I am, holding two leashes on two big dogs, one of them in a cage match with a 100-pound psycho and the other one laying on his side whimpering and getting stomped on. All because some ASSHOLES think it’s okay to let their huge, aggressive dog run free. Run free! Are you freakin’ KIDDING me?

So do you know what I did? Sunny had the monster under control in a snarling, biting, chaotic-yet-beautiful-in-its-brutal-efficiency way, so I quickly helped Digger up and then I did something I’ve never done before: I physically assaulted an animal. Still holding both leashes in my left hand, I threw my right arm out for balance, pulled my right leg back, and then kicked that shithead as hard as I could right in the ribs. He pulled back from Sunny a little and I did it again, this time in his skull. I WAS SO PISSED. Sunny stopped snarling and biting long enough to look up at me, like, did you just DO that? Holy shit, human! Let’s kill this bastard together!

The lab ran a few yards away to gather his wits. The kids finally got to the battle zone and I yelled at them to get back. The little girl was actually about to try to grab her dog. Fool! She was maybe 5 years old. FINALLY around the corner comes Dad, who races to the scene and seizes his piece of shit dog. Who broke free and came at us again but that was a very bad idea, because by that time, I was between him and Sunny, and she thought he was coming for me, and have you ever seen an obese dog move with the speed of light? It’s really quite remarkable. She literally leapt through the air in front of me to intercept the lab. Her fury was at Defcon 5 level and she hurt that dog. I didn’t see blood but he was whimpering and limping a little. He finally gave up and his owner got control of him.

And that’s that. The dad apologized profusely and yelled at his kids that they were in SERIOUS, SERIOUS TROUBLE! and I think he meant it. As we walked away, I heard him telling the boy that this is why! I told you to never let him out off leash! I TOLD YOU AND THIS IS WHY!! Someone could have gotten hurt! You apologize to the lady! So I was cool with that. At least Dad has a clue and I doubt his kids will ever let the dog out loose again.

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